Your face is a jimmy john
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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