Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
