DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
