you have to choose: penises or morals?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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