I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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