I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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