I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize