I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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