the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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