I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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