I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so that wasnt chicken after all
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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