He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
