North Korea, Best Korea!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
