I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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