Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
