HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
