you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
