I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You made out with two different species that night
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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