her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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