Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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