My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All I want is dick and wine.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
