Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
