Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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