you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
