Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
