at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
