Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
