we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
