Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
