Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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