I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You ruined the universe
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
