when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize