no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Apparently you make a good broom.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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