dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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