susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I want a musical about memes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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