Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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