so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
that is very illegal...i love you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
