dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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