No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
