Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
