the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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