I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize