I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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