i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I will pee on everything he values.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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