how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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