Farmville is her only friend.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
