I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
