I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
