i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
