I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
