she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
