if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
