R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize