I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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