haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
