I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
