Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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