Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
