I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
