I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Someone shit on the floor
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
