I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
