that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
