My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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