i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
