sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
