She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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