Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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