this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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