Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
