I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
