listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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