Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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