how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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